A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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