you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
