what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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