So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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