I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
