I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
