I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
