whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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