Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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