She tied me up with her honor cords...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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