Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
