I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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