there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
