I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
