so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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