i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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