Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
