I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
