I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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