Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
