my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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