my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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