Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
