party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
