even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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