i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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