dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
