He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Screwed.edu
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
