i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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