Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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