Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
