She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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