When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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