apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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