he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
