you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
