Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
