Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
