You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
