so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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