Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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