He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
