it wasn't lemon gatorade
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
