You just made me feel so damn special
420 ftw
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
