Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
