It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Send help, water and tortillas.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
