I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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