Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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