only if we run a train.
done.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
