All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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